-- Michel de Montaigne
The other night I went to my son’s junior varsity basketball game. As I sat there watching the game I was reminded of how different men and women can be or perhaps more specifically, how different my husband and I are.
My husband was intensely scrutinizing each move our son, and the team as a whole, made up and down the court. Now granted in this instance he was keeping the scorebook for the coach so he HAD to pay close attention.
However, it wouldn’t have mattered; he gets wrapped up in a game, no matter what sport. I on the other hand, do not.
I’ve tried over the years to ask relevant questions regarding a call made by a referee or umpire. (You know those guys with the whistles and complicated hand signals.) I ask why a player has done this or that. But by the time I have gotten my husband’s attention, the action has moved on. It’s one of those catch-22 deals, I have to ask the question because I don’t understand the game, and I don’t understand the game because he never answers my questions.
So I’ve learned to entertain myself while “watching” a game, I pay attention to more interesting things. For example on this particular night the voice in my head sounded like this:
“I wonder if anyone will notice if I slip the book out of my purse and read a few pages. I’ve only got two pages to go…”
“Gee, I need to clean out my purse, look at all this junk.”
“Hmm, let’s see, who’s at the game tonight?”
“Oh there’s Lisa from Bunco…”
“I wonder why Mr. Smith isn’t sitting here with the rest of the parents…oh, that’s right he got into it with another parent…ooh, I bet they’re still mad at each other.”
“When can I make a run for the concession stand? I’m starving!”
“How much time is left?”
“I wonder if this stamp on my hand will come off when I wash my hands.”
“Wow, the coach is looking sharp tonight. I don’t see a ring. I wonder if he has a girlfriend. He’s a cutie. He needs a girlfriend. He’s how old? Hmm, 36. I wonder why he isn’t married yet.”
I think you get the picture.
Now don’t get me wrong. I realize there are many women who love sports and can follow along just fine. But I’m just not one of them. Perhaps, it’s just me, but sports have never been my thing.
I remember one of the first dates I had with my husband was to a baseball game. He spent a lot of money for food that afternoon. Maybe he thought if I had my mouth full, I couldn’t interrupt his concentration of the game. It worked.
More recently, I went to yet another baseball game with my husband and son. There was a LONG rain delay, so I pulled out the paperback book from my purse. Oh my god, you would have thought I committed a mortal sin. For future reference, you do not read books at a baseball game!
My lack of sports savvy started at a young age. When I was but a teen I went with my family to a Purdue football game. Big Ten hoopla and all… well I was more excited about what to wear to a fall game and that I got a cool new pair of suede boots.
I certainly didn’t impress the man who had the misfortune to sit next to me when I asked him what inning it was.
My latest sport faux pas?
I asked my husband a question about throwing the ball from the 3-point line, I was proud of myself, heck, I knew there was a 3-point line, ha!
Aghast, he looked at me…“Shooting…shooting the ball, not throwing.”
Oh, for heaven’s sake!
If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Jenny Weber
Note: Originally posted 2/13/12